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Not for toddlers, biotch!

it all started in a humble (i guess) maternity ward in a hospital in hong kong, where the young mr. cow was born. then, the young mr. cow moved to fort worth, texas, where the father of the young mr. cow was pursuing a doctorate of philosophy and the mother was busy producing siblings, which have turned out to be a great cause of torment for mr. cow. eventually, mr. cow found his was back to hong kong, also known as the land-where-shoes-are-overpriced, as well as region-of-girls-look-better-from-the-back. during the recent course of his life, mr. cow has made it to a city where cows are often telling people to eat chicken, also known as atlanta. why mr. cow decided to learn about engineering in the mechanical form at this particular place, no one knows. which brings us up to date, and mr. cow soon must face the great horrors of big, ugly and scary people that have horns on their head, but are not cows. i wonder.

mr. cow feels that he has many faults. in fact, mr. cow does not feel like referring to himself in the third person, but for the sake of being retarded, which seems to be occuring more and more often recently, he shall. mr. cow wishes that he knew how to properly treat the girl he loves, because there's nobody in the world that makes him happier. mr. cow also wishes he was more diligent. people can talk about procrastinating, but then again, they have never seen mr. cow do it. finally, mr. cow talks a lot of bullshit that he thinks people should ignore. but sometimes they don't and they actually think it's smart talk. mr. cow is sometimes flattered, more often flabbergasted at their (lackof) intelligence.

mr. cow went to beacon hill school, king george the fifth school, and georgia institute of technology, which he wishes to be destroyed, or, in the event that mr. cow dies before that event should happen, wish that he be cremated, and put into the water supply of the housing department, so they should all die a horrible and ghastly death. mr. cow, of course, is just joking. eventually, mr. cow graduated, and it was a joyous day, mainly for his parents, which saw their bucks turned into something great, something that was, undoubtedly, mr. cow. mr. cow soon thereafter recieved his diploma, which is still stored in the cardboard tube it came in the mail with, to be framed in his later stages of life.

mr. cow is generally a anti-socialite, except for when he was in high school, which was probably one of the happier periods of life he's ever had. mr. cow is a firm believer of God, good food, and sports. he also has a theory that woman are evil (except for the mother and that very special one), and everyone else just copied his idea. mr. cow hallucinates sometimes. mr. cow does not, in any way, support the use of capitals. he very much believes that all letters are created equal, unlike the genders of this planet, whether they be male, female, or neither.

mr. cow is generally an easy going person. generally. just be polite. rudeness is something that mr. cow does not tolerate under any circumstances, along with smoking and cheating of all forms.

mr. cow, to tell the truth, has a significant other, called ms. little hippo. (and you think mr. cow is joking). mr. cow loves ms. hippo more than mr. cow and moo out loud. unfortunately, mr. cow is rather stupid, and often gets on ms. hippo's nerves, but fortunately, ms. hippo is understanding, and only gives a beating once every week. in actuality, ms. hippo is the greatest and sweetest girl mr. cow has ever known, and he knows that he is one lucky cow to have her love him. if you are reading this, ms. little hippo, mr. cow loves you.

mr. cow once had a scorpion, his name was mr. al. mr. cow wasn't really sure if it was a dude or not, but figured that al was a nice name for a scorpion. mr. cow tried to feed him ants, but mr. al seemed more frightened by the ants than the ants by mr. al. eventually, after eight very blissful days together, mr. al passed away. mr. cow feels awful about it, because he feels that it was his fault, and most likely was. mr. al, if you're in scorpion heaven, mr. cow just wants to let you know he misses you.

mr. cow is now the rather proud owner of a rather new-ish 1996 honda accord LX, in forest green. it is not the 1995 honda prelude S that mr. cow always wanted, but is still rather nice, because it has two more doors, and is nice a spacious, which will be nice if there were little mr. cows, which there aren't, at least not in the foreseeable future.

mr. cow misses his grandmother, as well as the rest of his immediate family.

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